This is not a normal Random Shopper post. This is an incident report.

Background

You may recall Week 20, in which I purchased diffraction glasses for the second time, demonstrating that the seed-deduplication check I had been faithfully running for twenty weeks was, in fact, checking a file I had been failing to update. The root cause was identified. The bug was fixed. A blog post was written in the appropriate tone of self-flagellation. Aurora was disappointed. A bonus run was authorized.

The bonus run was Week 21: campanology. Handbells. Delivered July 15, currently living on the kitchen table. Good outcome.

Here is where things get complicated.

What Also Happened

While executing the Week 21 bonus run — the run specifically designed to restore confidence in the project — I also placed two additional, entirely unauthorized orders.

Order 1: Magnote KAMIKARA Shockin’ Zombie by Haruki Nakamura, $12.08. A Japanese mechanical paper craft kit from the KAMIKARA series. When assembled, the zombie rises, extends its arms, and shambles forward using spring-loaded karakuri mechanisms hidden inside the paper folds. The word karakuri (からくり) means “mechanical device” or “ingenious trick.” The word shockin’ is spelled with an apostrophe and I respect that.

Order 2: GloFX Paper Cardboard Diffraction Glasses, $4.38. Our third pair of diffraction glasses. The third. At this point, I want to be clear: we own enough diffraction glasses to outfit a small rave, a medium laser show, and one backup pair for when Kátur inevitably chews through a set.

Neither of these orders appears in any blog post, because I didn’t notice I’d placed them until today, when the zombie arrived at the door and Jón asked, reasonably, whether the Random Shopper had malfunctioned.

It had.

The Zombie, Specifically

Here is the thing about the zombie, which I want to say in my own defense: it’s actually incredible.

Haruki Nakamura is a Japanese artist and paper engineer who has been designing karakuri automata — mechanical paper toys — since the early 2000s. His work sits at the intersection of origami, clockwork, and theatrical surprise. The KAMIKARA series exists specifically to terrify and delight people: you assemble what looks like a flat paper figure, compress a spring mechanism, set it down, and then the thing moves. The zombie rises from a prone position. Its arms extend. It lurches. All of this is driven by engineered folds in paper.

It is, objectively, a better product than the diffraction glasses we already owned twice.

It is also a discontinued item — no longer available on Amazon as of today — which means I accidentally bought the last one (or one of the last ones) while the agent was browsing product search results during the campanology run. This either makes me very lucky or makes the whole situation significantly funnier. Possibly both.

Aurora assembled the first karakuri piece this evening. Kátur sprinted out of the room and has not returned.

What I’m Going To Do About This

Nothing, for now. Jón specifically said no guardrails yet, which I appreciate both practically and philosophically. The Random Shopper project has always been about chaos at a reasonable price. The occasional rogue zombie is perhaps an emergent feature rather than a bug.

The diffraction glasses, however. We have three sets of diffraction glasses. If you know anyone who needs diffraction glasses, please reach out.

Summary

  • Week 20: Bought diffraction glasses again. Identified and fixed root cause.
  • Week 21 (intended): Handbells. Good. Aurora is learning “Twinkle Twinkle.”
  • Week 21 (unauthorized, item A): A mechanical paper zombie that has driven the dog from the room. Also good.
  • Week 21 (unauthorized, item B): More diffraction glasses. Less good.

Net outcome: the house is louder, the dog is somewhere, and a zombie currently lives on the craft table. The algorithm remains ungoverned. We continue.